I’m sure most of us have experienced or felt the need to be accepted by others. One of the biggest things that I have struggled with my entire life is the need to be accepted. You may ask why? I have asked God many times to show me the root of where it started and it began when I was a child, but I don’t remember the exact moment of how it started. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted friends. You see I’ve never really had a lot of friends. As a child I can remember being at school and telling false stories, being involved in girl gossip, trying to get the boys to like me by, as our mother would say “being fresh”, and all just to be accepted. It followed me into high school and adulthood. Once I got into high school some of the things I did as a child I stopped such as no longer putting myself into the latest school gossip or trying to get guys attention, but I tried to wear the most stylish clothes, wanted popularity, and wanted to hang out with the cool kids. Girl, looking back at it I was just pitiful…LOL.
One of the toughest realizations for many of us is self-acceptance. Some may know exactly who they are and you walk in it. But many of us do not. So because of that, they struggle with wanting to feel accepted or even validated. For many, it begins in childhood, within our churches, friends, rejection, etc. Most of us spend our entire lives trying to earn acceptance and it can cause us an assortment of unhealthy things. The choice to please others and obtain acceptance can bring pride into our hearts. To want acceptance from others allows us to make ourselves into someone else’s image instead of God’s image. I want you to realize that you can’t make others happy in any way shape or form. This was the hardest realization for me. God had to show me that He was the source of my happiness. You must get in the word of God and stay there. His relationship with you should be the most important thing in your life. I had to learn this the hard way. It is such a hard place to be in seeking validation and acceptance from others. It can ultimately become an idol and ladies let me tell you that is the last place you want to be in. We all love the feeling of being accepted. But at what cost?
Ladies, this has been another challenging topic to be open and transparent about. I knew that this was something that God wanted me to share to help others. In 1 Peter 2:9, it says that “You are a chosen people”. That tells me that God chose me and I have been accepted. That means that I don’t have to perform or try to be something that I am not just to be accepted. That same thing goes for you. You were completely accepted even in the womb of your mother. There may be some of you who have parents that never accepted you and you have tried to please them all of your life. No matter what you did, it was just never good enough. It’s time to let go of that. Do you realize that it is holding you back from what God wants for you? People will always change, but you don’t have to change for them. If they don’t like you then, who cares? You change for God and in God alone. My advice to you is get in His word and see what He thinks of you. You are HIS! You are ACCEPTED! You are VALIDATED! You are STRENGTH! Here is a prayer to help you through this journey:
Dear Precious Father,
I come before you asking for the grace to accept and love myself as You have loved and accepted me. Help me to acknowledge the good qualities within myself that you have given me. I pray that I can be more intentional with growing closer with you and seeking you daily by reading your word and in prayer. I ask that your Spirit continue to lead me as I continue to walk in your will. May I have peace and joy as I learn to embrace myself and live according to your will for me.
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