There are such beautiful intricate details of who we are in God's eyes, but we all have struggled with identity issues in many various ways. Especially finding our identity in Christ. One day last year, I realized I've struggled with identity but never entirely accepted until recently. I kept meeting all these people that we're secure in who they were. They were confident, sure of themselves, and they all loved themselves. They knew where they were going, were free, and they walked in boldness. I began to feel so small around them because, in all honesty, I knew that I was nowhere near that, and I didn't know who I was. That was the most gut-wrenching and hardest reality I faced. That underneath all the smiles, laughter, clothes, hair, makeup, and all-out pretending I was still a little girl searching for "me." For as long as I can remember, I allowed people to tell me who I was, how I was, and what I was, and I believed it all. I remember when I would date men, I would have to Google ( yes chileee I said Google) things to say because I was so unsure myself, and I wanted them to like me. Yall, I was just pitiful.
Have you ever been around people and because you are so unsure of who you are, you begin asking them about what ways to handle situations, or how you should wear your clothes, hair, makeup? If so, I need you to stop that. There is nothing wrong with asking someone's opinion of something, but once you get to a place where you abandon yourself and your thoughts and feelings for theirs, then it can ensure a vicious cycle to break.
At the age of 19, I became pregnant. Here I was preparing to bring a life into the world, and I was still learning my own identity. I gave everything that I had in me to be a good mother. When my son was born, I immediately wrapped myself in being his mom, providing for him and making sure what he everything he needed, his provider, both physically, mentally, and emotionally. I didn't realize all the challenges that I would face within myself, and the issues that stemmed from my childhood insecurities would make me question everything. I looked to everyone and anything to find my identity. There were relationships with men. I sought my status in money, mundane things, friendships, family, and appearances/looks. Most women who have children, whether it is at a young age or even full adult age, struggle with their identity. Our focus becomes more on our children than ourselves. So we bottle up anything that will keep us from spiraling out of control until one day we bust. Doubts of insecurity stemming from your past that may begin with someone picking on you from childhood, molestation, rape, domestic violence, pregnancy, or verbal abuse. Those things can cause our identity to shift and we are spending a lifetime trying to figure out who we are. There are a plethora of many things to name. Ladies, I have made so many mistakes in every season and area of my life. God had to show me every area where I had placed my identity. It was a raw eye-opener to see where I had put my identity. Although it's a process, God is continuing to heal me in several areas, and I am learning to accept myself for who I am in HIM. It all goes back to wanting to be accepted.
You must know that you have been made in God's image. We embody his characteristics, and we are his own. When we try to look in all of these directions of who we are and who we are supposed to be, we need and should look to Christ. The world is always trying to tell us who we are and what we should be. The bible is our instruction on how we are to find our identity in Christ. If you are wondering where your identity is, the best place is God's word. Spend time in his presence. The Holy Spirit is such a great encourager. We tend to look at all these things for value, but our true value only comes from God. Holy Spirit will reassure you of who you are. You are not held captive to your past. We have all sinned and fallen short of God. There is a quote that was made by Rick Warren that was so profound to me "To have your identity hidden in Christ means, that you have to abandon any image of yourself that is not from God...You have to start believing what God says about you."
Keep your mind saturated with God's word. It is a reminder of His unconditional love for you. Remember that God is the one that ultimately evaluates you. Don't hold on to your past mistakes, but rather embrace your new identity in Christ. It reads in 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, and the new is here! I have been made brand new in the image of Christ. Beloved, it is the most beautiful thing EVER! Are you in a place where you are holding on to your old life? Is it because you don't want it to leave. Sometimes we hold our own selves back from embracing who God sees us as. I know I did for many many years. Surrender your old identity so that you will have the capacity to welcome your new identity fully.
So Beloved, I am going to ask you the same thing? Who do you say you are? What are you believing about yourself? How do you see yourself? Let today begin as a new day to put away all false ideas of who you are and let God saturate your mind and heart with his unconditional love. You are SOMEBODY! I am remembering the words from one of my favorite movies, "The Help" You Is Smart, You Is Important, You Is Kind, and You Is Loved!
God is the Father that I never knew; God is everything, He is faithful, He is my strength, He is my promise keeper, He is powerful, He is my counselor, He is compassionate, He is perfect, God is LOVE!
Love! Love! Love you!